Today, marriage is simply about picking an auspicious date for a wedding banquet, but you may not know that traditional Chinese marriage involves a lot of stressful customs. These customs are not feudal superstition or red tape, but are closely related with sexual health.
When talking about marriage, sex cannot be avoided. But sex is a taboo topic among the Chinese people, so wise old ancestors came up with seemingly more gentle and scientific approaches, which became customs that everyone must abide by.
The bride should avoid menstruation on the big day
It is important to choose a lucky day for marriage. Generally, it is determined by a local feng shui expert, found by the groom. The auspicious wedding day is calculated according to both the bride and groom’s zodiac and birthdates. Once this is done, the groom entrusts a matchmaker to send some gifts to the bride’s home.
If the bride’s family agrees to the date, then it is set. If the bride’s family rejects the gifts, it means there are problems with the date and it needs to be recalculated. What exactly is the problem?
It is not that it is an unlucky day, but usually that the date coincides exactly with the bride’s menstrual period, and she should not have sex while menstruating. At this time, the groom’s parents must ask the feng shui expert to pick another date. The feng shui expert will certainly push the last date back or ahead by 15 days.
Because menstrual issues are extremely sensitive, people are not straightforward, so they use this custom to solve the problem. When the matchmaker then sends a new date, the bride’s family will accept. However, as we know, 15 days before or after the menstrual period happens to be the female ovulation period. Back then, there were no good contraceptive measures, so honeymoon pregnancies were not uncommon.
Modern medicine has shown that, with fatigue, alcohol and other factors, it is not appropriate for newly married couples to have children. So feng shui experts at that time may know how to choose a day, but they do not have reproductive health knowledge.
Feng shui experts also use another way and pick two dates, one in the first half of the month, and one in the second, to avoid the bride’s menstrual period.
Ambiguous sexual education
People used to be very conservative, and many newlywed couples would blush at a secret glance. Worse, many are set for life on the words of a matchmaker alone, so two people who have never met have to be skin-to-skin at night and make the most intimate contact, which is very awkward. Therefore, before the wedding day, the bride’s mother must improve her daughter’s sex education, so the girl will not be scared silly.
Sex education involves specialized tools that are mostly porcelain saucers in civilian homes, while aristocratic families have carved ivory. Inside are “pornographic paintings” so that the bride has basic psychological preparation.